IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT

I want you to think for a moment, what turns you on? What makes you horny? What makes you randy baby, yeah!

Chances are, you're thinking to yourself something like "I'm a legs man" or "I like blondes" or something else you wouldn't want your momma to read.

That's alright. It's not that men are dogs, it's that men are VISUAL. For most men, it is what we SEE that initially triggers attraction. It's not the be-all and end-all, but it dominates our first impressions.

Duh, you say? Obvious, you say? Well smart guy, how often do you think about what turns a woman on? You may be fooled by listening to ladies occasionally hooting cute butts or swooning at Antonio Banderas. Don't be.

You've probably heard the phrase "It ain't the size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean." Well, it ain't the shape of the gut, it's the way you strut. Women are MUCH more in tune to body language and non-verbal communications, and that's where their buttons are pushed.

Sure, a handsome man with a good body is ATTRACTIVE to women, but he won't necessarily CREATE ATTRACTION.

Attraction is created by style and attitude, by CHARISMA, what women often call CHARM. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, this is good news, because it can be learned.

And just as BODY LANGUAGE trumps BODY SHAPE in attracting women, your VOICE will trump your WORDS.

Lots of guys, when they are trying to learn how to be more successful with women, turn to pick-up lines. Men seem to think the RIGHT WORDS will move a girl's heart.

Maybe it's because we've seen guys get a girl by talking to her. Maybe she changed her attitude after he spoke to her.

Maybe we just can't get the difference between the JOKES we tell and WHAT REALLY WORKS.

If at some point you've thought that pick-up lines were the key to breaking the ice with a woman, you may be forgiven. You should give yourself a number of numbing slaps to the face, but then forgive yourself and let's talk about what DOES work.

It doesn't really matter what words you use - you could have the best pick-up line in the world and, with poor delivery, it will fail.

But if you deliver your words well, it doesn't really matter WHAT you say. "Hello" can be the sexiest word in the language.

Controlling your voice the right way will have a positive affect on MANY aspects of your life, but right now, we care about how it affects women.

There are three keys to speaking in a commanding, confident way that women find sexy and attractive.

The easiest one is volume. Speak LOUDLY.

That doesn't mean you should YELL at a woman. Your volume has to come naturally, from the chest. If you sound strained when you speak you sound, well, STRAINED.

I know, I know, you can thank me later.

Your volume should be the sort of thing that fills a room with your confidence. When you speak quietly, it communicates that you DON'T BELIEVE what you say has WORTH. You're telling women (and anyone else in your teeny hearing radius) that you're a WUSS.

That's the last thing you want someone thinking. Especially an attractive woman. In an instant you'll splash into the NEXT category, and you probably aren't getting out. Once a woman passes, the best thing you can do is move on.

So, don't YELL, don't WHISPER, just speak from your chest in a voice loud enough everyone can hear.

That brings us to the next point; you need to speak clearly. Resonate. Sound picky? Listen.

Think of the dorkiest possible person you can. Pocket protector, coke bottle glasses, nose turned up, OBNOXIOUS laugh... what does that person sound like?

Ok, yes, Erkel. What's Erkel sound like?

Yeah, he speaks through his NOSE. Unless you are British royalty, you aren't getting away with a NASAL voice. It just... well, if you want a little peace and quiet, talk like this and people will run from you like from fingernails on a chalkboard. Speaking of which, avoid squeaking too. High voices... they aren't manly. What, you want her to think your testicles haven't dropped?

There's a reason Barry White is the sexiest singer out there, and it isn't his body. The man can TALK! He can sing too, but it's that deep resonant voice which gets everything going.

The key, again, is to speak from the chest. You want to feel vibrations in your torso, not your nose.

Finally, you want to slow... your... speech... doooowwwwnn.

When-you-are-nervous-or-scared-of-losing-attention-you-speak(breath)fast.You-sound-on-edge-and-unstable-and-READY-TO-LOSE-IT.

Especially if you're speaking loudly. Think Regis. Not sexy.

But... if you take.. yooouuur time... breeeaath deeeeeeply... speak from fuuuuuull luuuuungs... you sound... confident. Even... hypnotic.

Ok, it's freaking annoying to read. But try reading it out loud. Take your time. No rush. You've got ALL the time in the WORLD.

You sound like a man in control of himself. Hell, you BECOME a man in control of himself. The more carefully you consider your words... and slow down your cadence... the more sure of yourself you will ACTUALLY become.

If only because you're LISTENING to YOURSELF for once. It's worth it.

Alright, you've got this negative nag in the back of your head. I know you do. It's saying something like "My voice is my voice. Barry White is sexy, great, but I can't do that."

It's fine. We all have the nag sometimes.

Now is the time when you go Fight Club on his ass and shoot your nag in the head.

Yes, your voice is your voice. And your bicep is your bicep.

Just as you can change your bicep with exercise, you can do the same with your voice.

The biggest key is PAYING ATTENTION to what you're doing, and WHAT YOU WANT to be doing. Get a recorder. Listen to your voice (and don't worry, we all hate our own voices).

Then remember how you want to sound, think about what you want to CHANGE. Work on it.

The simple act of PAYING ATTENTION will slow your speaking down, which is great. You'll sound more deliberate and in-control just by listening to yourself.

Watching your BREATHING is another great key. Not only will you be one step closer to Buddhahood, you also will avoid RUSHED or WINDED deliveries. Breath deeply and you'll CALM yourself - and you'll KNOW you're calm.

That calm will quickly translate into COOL - someone in control of situations, a leader. An alpha.

The guy girls want to be with.

Do those two simple things - PAY ATTENTION and BREATH - and you'll improve exponentially.