BECOMING A NATURAL

You remember youth, right? The magical freedom, no responsibility, all you ever had to do was play?

Sure, the parts we like to remember. There's plenty of things we'd just as soon forget.

Think back to your first crush. Did it end well?

Probably not. You didn't know what you were doing, neither did she, and those awkward moments don't play out in good ways. In fact, whether you know it or not, those initial failures are the true cause of all your future ones. How?

Did you know that most guys who are "naturals" with women lose their virginity young? I mean just about all of them, and just about always by 14.

Getting chicken and egg on you, they didn't have immediate success because they were naturals. They became naturals because they had immediate success. Invariably, they got incredibly lucky. Some older girl picked them out and made the moves for them.

If they were doing something right, she reinforced it early, and if they were doing nothing, she gave them confidence. They didn't have the doubts everyone has during their teenage years, they never wondered what was wrong with them. At least not when it came to women.

Guys who had initial failures, they wondered those things. While the "naturals" were walking around feeling like sex gods, everyone else was walking around questioning their entire sexual being.

Fast forward a few years and the men who got lucky (literally fall-into-your-lap lucky) have had tons of positive thinking - they ooze confidence and that sort of thing usually breeds success. So they go from one early encounter to have more, until they simply EXPECT it. They change their reality.

Everyone else walked around with negative emotions - unslaked lust, unrequited love - that build until it becomes what THEY expect. They change their reality too.

The truth is, our inner beliefs have more to do with our outer encounters more than just about everything else COMBINED. Hence, you have a good experience at camp when you're 12, you become a natural. You spend each night coming up with explanations for why you're alone, you become a frustrated average chump.

Sure, even AFCs will wander into success now and again - and it can change their beliefs (which is one of the reasons you always have women attracted to you when you're in a relationship). But when the relationship ends the negative cycle starts up again, usually with even greater force - since most relationships end on a negative anyway.

Some people think that who you become in your early childhood is who you will remain, unchanged, the rest of your life.

Not true.

We all are sets of habits - thinking, doing, whatever - and those habits are set when you are young. But, while difficult, you can BREAK your habits and establish new ones.

Just like quitting cigarettes. Only harder.

So we're going to BREAK YOUR BAD HABITS. The negative cycles and beliefs you carry around with you, always lurking on the edge of consciousness. We'll see why that negativity is built on FALSE BELIEFS set by early experience and cultural reinforcement. We've got to face them and most importantly CHANGE them.

Just like 12 steps. Only cooler.

In my books, there will be visualization and various exercises we'll run through. Some things we can change from the outside in - using posture, as an example. Some things we need to get from the inside out. All is covered.

There is work involved here - but not much, 30 minutes a day or so. What is MORE important is COMMITMENT - you can't just think a new way for a little while every 24 hours and forget about it the rest of the time.

If you want to change your habits FAST, you need to commit to watching yourself. Noting your mistakes and negativity as they happen, and working to change your patterns. This stuff won't work overnight - well, ok, some of it might (score), but for the most part it'll take time.

This might sound a bit new-agey, but it isn't. In fact, most successful people in ALL walks of life practice positive thinking in one way or another. If you are convinced that woman won't want you, you make it true. If you are convinced she will - guess what, that'll work out just the way you're hoping.

Attitude, that's what we'll study after getting our little negative demons out of our heads. Having confidence is the most important thing, but your demeanor can only help. Even the naturals needed to learn more before they could go from young luck to mature success (and plenty never make the leap).

We're going to look inside the heart of women and discuss what they REALLY want - or at least what they REALLY find attractive. From there, we'll go over ways to create the right atmosphere for you to succeed.

What does that mean? In short, you need a woman to TRUST you before you can hope to go further. Yes, some women love the dangerous types, but even they wouldn't head to a bed unless they believed they could trust him when it came to HER.

How do you create trust quickly? By creating a relaxed atmosphere.

But that alone isn't enough. Relaxing by itself might just put a woman to sleep. You need more. You need to be exciting, unpredictable - anything but boring. I call this general concept playfulness - playful because its fun, but clean fun. You don't want to create negativity - this doesn't mean you can't say negative things (they can work well), but you can't say negative things in a negative way. Fun and playful.

Hence, relaxed playfulness.

You might be thinking that you can be relaxed and playful with that best girl friend you'd love to bonk but never will. Don't worry. That's different, we'll go into the exact differences so you don't get stuck in the friend category.

For instance, one of the most POWERFUL things you can do is create social value. If you know how to create an atmosphere in which are you important, women sense that. They want to be near it. You don't have to get the money or the power to get the women - you just need to get the psychological edge those things create.

Even more powerful is sexual cuing. We'll cover some of this in our inner game and some while working the outer, but non-verbal communication is the basis for ALL our responses from other people, well above word content. And if you don't know how to cue sexually, you're sabotaging yourself. You're begging to be a friend.

Luckily, I know how to cue. And I'll teach you.

After that we'll move out into the field. I'll work you through specific strategies and specific locales, going over the right and the wrong way to approach situations. Some of this stuff will work immediately - and if you can't wait, you can skip ahead and practice in the field tonight - but most of it will consistently work only if you've got the basics of attitude and atmosphere down.

I'll walk you through each step - the approach, the conversation, the close - until you see the path clearly and know exactly where you want to go next. Most guys are just thinking about how to get a hot girl's clothes off - and that's why they fail. If you slow down and think about things as a progression and just try to move to the next step, your success will skyrocket.

Finally, we'll tie it all up. Taken bit by bit, each lesson we examine will have a small but noticeable effect. Taken together, you'll see exponential change once you've passed a certain threshold. And as each puzzle piece improves, the whole will swell to monumental proportions.

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