HOW TO APPROACH ANY WOMAN DESPTE NERVOUSNESS, SHYNESS, OR HESITATION

Is there some technique to get rid of nervousness in less than 10 seconds?

Yeah, right. These things take practice. That said, once you're practiced, you CAN change your nervousness to confidence in 10 seconds - but you've got to build on PLENTY of practice to get there.

Likewise, the exercises aren't meant to be memorized and recited for high marks. They're meant to be practiced - daily if you can.

Get yourself a little corner of space where you work on them. Keep the book handy, and the teacher won't check if you're cheating; LOOK UP an exercise if you don't remember it perfectly.

Then, practice it.

Repeat.

Soon enough, you won't need the book anymore.

Keep repeating.

Soon enough, you won't even need the exercises. Not the full ones, anyway.

Because the thing is, these exercises implant new ideas and reactions deep in your subconscious - the hard work is getting it there, but once you have, it doesn't take much to reawaken the seeds you've planted.

So, let's take your example of nervousness. Here's an exercise you can do.

1. Go into a deep meditative state using the relaxation exercises from earlier in the book.

2. Allow the nervous feelings to emerge - if you can't draw purely on the emotion, and then remember a situation where you were nervous. Focus on that feeling. Where does it begin in your body? How does it feel?

3. Once you have focused the feeling, bring it to the crown of your head, and then let it descend as a ball of energy to rest in your left palm.

4. Now create a different feeling... one of total relaxation. If need be, think of a time in your past when you were totally relaxed and focus on that feeling. Where does it begin? How do you feel?

5. Once you have focused the feeling, bring it to the crown of your head, and then let it descend as a ball of energy to rest in your right palm.

6. Now bring your hands together and allow the balls to merge, with the relaxed feeling engulfing and swallowing the nervous one.

7. Bring yourself out of your meditative state.

As you can guess, that exercise takes more than 10 seconds. And it'll take more than one or two runs to take hold.

However, once you've got it down, your nervous feelings will actually TRIGGER your feelings of relaxation, since you've linked them, with relaxation as the stronger victorious emotion.

In other words, it'll take less than 10 seconds IN THE END. You might just clap your hands once to remind yourself of the balls mixing, and then boom, there ya go.

I'm a pretty shy guy. What advice do you have for 'shy guys' such as me when the urge comes to talk to that pretty girl next to him but he doesn't have the balls?

The first time you drove, what did you drive?

Was it a hot sports car, revved to the gills, ready to race?

Or was it the broken-down jalopy that was supposed to be thrown away years ago, but it'd been saved for this moment?

Ok, you trust fund babies aside, we ALL start on something closer to a jalopy. You're more likely to make a mistake, you're more likely to GET NERVOUS ABOUT making a mistake, so you start out with something worth as little as possible.

Deal with women the same way.

If you get shy around the hotties of the world, then you shouldn't start off with the hotties. Because, strange as it may seem, you act like a young kid behind the wheel of a Porsche, with A LOT to lose. Even though you don't HAVE the girl, you still will be worrying about LOSING her from the get-go.

The answer? Start with the jalopies of the world.

Too old. Too young. Too ugly. Too... blonde, whatever. Don't try to talk to the girls that make you stutter and stammer, talk to women where you've got nothing to lose, women you're not even ATTRACTED to.

Talk to at least three a day for a week.

After those 21 women, you should feel a LOT more comfortable approaching and talking to women. Once that happens, you can start talking to women you would actually like to date. And once you're comfortable with that, you can talk to women you find crazy hot. And then... you're not a shy guy anymore.

What I find hard to do is to keep eye contact with a girl I don't know while feeling comfortable. How did you become comfortable doing this?

I have been told by many girls that I have very nice eyes. Many times I accidentally catch a woman's eyes when she's walking past, but they usually don't seem to smile, but just have an expressionless face and then look away. From your past experience, can you figure out what is going on here?

For keeping eye contact, try not to think about anything. Just picture all your thoughts vanishing from your mind in a big explosion, poof, and the head's empty. You should be able to hold eye contact a looooong time this way, if necessary.

As far as the smiling, the question is, are YOU smiling? Because in my experience, you tend to get an equal and opposite response to whatever signal you yourself are sending.

Smile, and she'll smile back. If you look at her with a blank face, she'll do the same. You're cuing her - whether you know it or not, so cue her right. Get that smile. By giving one.

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