YOU ARE HER CHANCE

1. Can you give me an example of how to deal with a girl who is hesitant when you suggest something, such as going for a coffee, asking for a phone number, meeting up with you?

2. Can you suggest a way in which I can 'interrupt' a woman when approaching her without surprising her too much?

What I mean by this is that when approaching a woman who's walking in the street, or is so engrossed ina book, or studying etc, there minds are already in a state where their thoughts are engaged. So, when I have approached these women before, they kind of jolt back in a surprised way. Is there any way you could suggest to deal with this?

I'm going to deal with your second question first, because it's simpler.

First, you shouldn't think about what you're doing as an interruption - you're giving the woman a CHANCE. She gets to meet you - and that should be a special thing in your mind, or else it never will be in hers.

Think about it this way: if you were out with a good buddy and he was reading but there was an attractive woman checking him out, what would you do?

Would you bring it to his attention?

Would you consider that a rude interruption?

I don't think so.

And that's basically what you're doing for this mysterious studier we've imagined. She's raised the interest of an attractive man - you - and as an act of kindness you are giving her the gift of AWARENESS - the awareness that she might have a very sweet opportunity. No woman is going to be upset if she thinks of it that way - and she'll think of it that way if YOU think of it that way and act accordingly.

That said, shocking a woman is NOT a good way to start.

You don't want to sneak up behind her, get real close to her ear, and whisper "hi." That's just creepy.

Any sort of sneaking is generally a VERY bad idea.

So, approach her from the front. Give her ample opportunity to see you - or at the least sense you, because she will almost certainly sense your approach with at least some part of her brain, even if she's got her upper mind engaged in something.

Don't speak quickly or loudly, but in a natural tone get her attention.

Start a conversation ABOUT the thing she's engrossed in - this gives you good reason to interrupt her. And you've got a natural thing going then - either she's interested in it and will be happy to talk about it, or if it's a chore she'll be grateful for the break.

And lastly, when you break her reality, she'll be temporarily without base - and that's when she's going to enter YOUR reality. Make it a fun, attractive one. If you don't, she's going to want to escape quickly. If you create a good positive reality for her to jump into, she certainly won't mind that. At least, no quality woman will.

Now, as for dealing with resistance, there are a couple ways you can go about this.

One, you can make a joke about it. There's an episode of The Larry Sanders Show where he's interviewing Barry Levinson and Barry refuses to talk about the movie he's making. Larry is somewhat stumped, and after several attempts he says ok, let's talk about merchandising, which is the big thing in Hollywood these days. So, what're you merchandising? Maybe if we know that, we work backwards and say ok, it's a movie about a boy and his dog.

He gets a big laugh, and although Barry never gives up the secret, Larry endears himself to the audience and gets a big laugh.

If you make a refusal funny by working BACKWARDS to a number after a refusal, it's usually seen as cute, funny, intelligent - and plenty of times it'll get you the result you want.

The other way is just to be direct. There are some women who will refuse to give out their number on the first request to ANYONE - even guys she wants to see again.

Why? Because if you give up that easily, you haven't got any balls, so she won't waste her time.

But if you take out a pen and paper, hand them to her, and say something like "Just do it. Don't worry, I won't LET you stalk me after I call." Or "Oh, what's the matter, you don't like having coffee with attractive men? Ok, let's walk through the park instead - that way you can show off your trophy date to more people." Or "That's it, I'm ripping up the lease, returning the dog, and applying for annulment. This just isn't working out."... get the laugh, and THEN get the number, or date, or whatever.

The key is NOT to let it throw you, but instead be direct, firm, confident, and humorous in your follow-up. Usually that'll be enough.

If it's not, she's probably got something else going on, and you should move on to the next woman.

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