HOW TO CULTIVATE THE WILL TO ACT ON YOUR DESIRES

I
have been applying a lot of your techniques, with success. The only problem I am facing (and one I have had for awhile) is this:

In most aspects of life, I am very confident. I do not have problems with reservation and generally say things that most others would be embarrassed to say. I cannot think of any social situation where I lack confidence, except one...

The problem is, this confidence disappears when picking up women. Most of my successes have been either when the woman has initiated conversation, or I have started a conversation with no intention of chatting up the woman (e.g. asking for a light, time, etc.)

At this point, I am on top of my game. I seem to have good results, which have been getting better when applying some of your techniques.

The problem is, these situations do not come up often enough. When I approach a woman my confidence seems to sap. I'm not on top of the game, and usually fail because of it. I've more or less got enough confidence to just approach, but the lack of confidence in this situation simply destroys any chance of success. What is frustrating for me is that this feeling does not exist anywhere else in my life, and I don't know how to get past it.

My question is how can I transfer my personality from most social situations, where I am supremely confident, to meeting and dating women?

I have some good news for you, my friend: you're most of the way there. Your problem is just about solved - you just don't know it yet.

You see, MOST people in the world have a problem like this - whether they are confident on the dance floor but not the boardroom, confident on the sports field but not the dating scene, whatever - almost everyone has this problem.

And that means this problem has been worked on A LOT. And some of the answers are quite simple.

If you lack confidence across the board, then we've got a lot of work to do.

But that's not the problem here, and there are some easy quick exercises which will help train your brain to respond in a confident manner.

So first: you have no problems talking to a woman when she approaches YOU, but have plenty of problems approaching her.

What's the core issue here?

Sounds to me like fear of rejection and failure. When SHE approaches YOU, there's little to no chance of that happening, so you're fine. When YOU approach HER but without agenda, there's little to no chance of that happening - what sane woman won't tell you the time?

Actually, with those little approaches you're tricking your head a little bit - I'm betting you're still approaching attractive women with it most of the time, and your unconscious is short-circuiting your fear response by telling your conscious mind "We just want a light." Then with luck you're already into a conversation and past that initial fear - because once you cross that first approach barrier, you can be the confident social man you usually are.

So you're already doing what you need to be some of the time - we just need to change that to ALL the time.

Alright, here's an exercise for you:

Part 1

1. Go into a deeply relaxed, meditative state.

2. Imaginatively enter the state you are in when approaching women and coming up with nerves. Really go into it - picture situations, either real past events or imaginary future ones, and picture them vividly enough that you start to FEEL the feelings you have when you get nervous. If your stomach isn't fluttering, you need to go deeper.

3. Now, let the situation(s), states, and feelings lift out of your body and transfer into a ball of negative energy. Concentrate on this ball, and fix it in your mind, because you'll need it later - you might find it helpful to attach a color to this ball.

4. Come back up into a normal waking state.

Part 2

1. Go into a deeply relaxed, meditative state.

2. Imaginatively enter the state you are in when women approach you and you are SUPREMELY confident in yourself. REALLY go into this one - picture past successes and future ones, and make sure they are real enough that you again FEEL the feelings you have when you are having success.

3. Now let the situation(s), states, and feelings lift out of your body and transfer into a ball of positive energy. Concentrate on the ball and fix it in your mind - if you attached a color to the earlier ball of energy, make sure you choose a different color for this positive one.

4. Come back up into a normal waking state.

Part 3

1. Go into a deeply relaxed, meditative state.

2. Imagine both of the previously visualized states as the two balls of energy resting in front of you.

3. Imagine the two balls of energy merging in such a way that the negative ball is engulfed by the positive one. If your positive ball was red, you should have a red ball twice as big now. Continue to work on this visualization until your unconscious sees the two states as linked, and the positive as the dominant one.

4. Once you have a large, stable, positive ball that engulfs the negative one, bring it over your body and drop it back in - through the top of your head, down your spine, to the tips of your toes and fingers and back again, until it has circulated through every cell of your being.

5. Come back up into a normal waking state.

What'd we just do?

Well, the way you tricked your mind earlier - into thinking that you weren't interested in a woman, thus allowing you to remain confident - we've tweaked it a little bit now. We've convinced your mind that your negative state is PART of your positive state, and that your positive state is the DOMINANT one. So now, the next time you feel those negative feelings, it should TRIGGER the positive ones.

This isn't a trick - when you're talking about emotional states, your frame of mind is all that really matters, after all. But it is a powerful technique for eliminating negative thoughts and encouraging positive ones - which shouldn't be hard since you've already got plenty of the positive ones in place.

And as an added bonus, although it will take a few sessions before this exercise takes root, once you've got it started, you'll need it less and less. Why? Because you'll be having more success with women when you approach them - and the negative insecure cycle will be broken, replaced by a confident one!

This is my first year in college and I bought your course last month and have been using the techniques in it. I did manage to meet a few girls through a friend of mine that is in a sorority. One of the girls she introduced to me was the president of her sorority. My first impression was that this girl did not like me. She was very short with me, so I wrote her off.

On the first day of class this semester, I was rather surprised when this girl came over and sat down next to me in one of my classes. We have been sitting together for the whole semester. Through our brief conversations before class, I have really gotten to like her. However, I haven't had the courage to ask her out. I've been trying to read her interest level. We talk and laugh before class and smile at each other. I thought she might be interested.

Then today she asked me what my plans were for Valentine's Day. I told her I was having dinner with the friend that introduced us and asked what her plans were. She said she was just going to take it easy and relax by herself. I thought that her interest level was pretty high since she asked me several other questions (Where do you live? What are you doing tonight? etc) so I finally mustered the courage to ask her if she just wanted to get together and study over the weekend for our exam next week. She then replied that "she would like to" but doesn't study well with other people, and does better on her own. Does that mean that she isn't interested in me, or that she simply doesn't want to study with me?

Wow, this question is great because it raises so many issues.

First, you got the WRONG first impression, which happens to all of us SO often.

See, when you don't have experience with a person, you tend to think that they are ALWAYS like whatever they were like when you FIRST meet them.

And that is usually not true. First, few of us are consistently the same person, and second, few of us are that person in a first meeting.

So you learned that in a big way - sounds like you met her on a night she was pissed about something, and as naturally happens you assumed it was about you - when in fact it had NOTHING to do with you. You were background on a bad day.

Why is this important? That sort of knowledge helps you to stop from TAKING IT PERSONALLY when you get a negative reaction - as it almost always has little to do with you, and more to do with the girl's life at that time.

Now, as far as your question goes - did she say no, she doesn't want to spend time with you?

No, she didn't.

If I don't hear no, I keep pursuing. I ASSUME this person wants the chance to get to know wonderful me, unless I am given a DIRECT message that she doesn't. And I don't stop until I either get her, lose interest, or am so busy with other women that I just don't have the time.

If she gave a direct no, I'd say no chance. But she didn't. Maybe she really DOESN'T like studying with other people - and as a sorority president, she's probably pretty serious about school-related things. There's only one way to find out, of course - ASK HER OUT.

Look, the truth is, you've probably waited too long. I'm betting that she liked you, but you never made a move, and now your chance has passed and you've been dumped into the 'friend' category.

But again, you shouldn't be writing me and waiting for a response when I can't see this girl and how she interacts with you - you should simply ASK HER OUT. Do it in a playful manner.

When she asks what you're doing for Valentine's Day, you can say something like "I've been waiting for you to ask me out. What's kept you so long, are you really shy or something?" or "Are you asking me out? Wow, that's really sudden - why don't we have an Easter brunch first, and then I'll think about it."

When she says she likes to study alone, you can say "Yes, my stunning physique and winning charisma would be quite a distraction, you're right. Let's get coffee instead."

The key is ACTING on your feelings. 80% of the problems most men have is they don't have the WILL to ACT. Don't ponder or get too concerned with will she won't she - just DO IT. The rest will take care of itself - even if this one says no, down the line you'll get a yes.

But if you never ACT, you'll never get anything.

If you're reading this right now and you are wondering how you can take your seduction skills with women to the next level RIGHT NOW, then I'd recommend that you start out with my Seduction Science System. In just a few days of reading, you can learn to apply the basics that have taken me literally YEARS to figure out and put together in one place.

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